Too Ugly For Dating Apps: Am I Too Ugly For Online Dating? (Hinge, Bumble)
If you have been on dating apps for a long time or have yet to get any likes or matches, you may be wondering if you are too ugly for dating apps. This is a common feeling among men and women and if left unchecked, can cause significant harm to your self-esteem.
Go online to forums like Reddit and you will see tons of posts and comments that suggest people are too ugly for dating apps, you have to be a 10/10 looks-wise to have a fighting chance on dating sites as a guy or that attractive people get all the likes and matches on dating apps.
I am not going to lie — being attractive helps quite a bit, especially if you are a guy because dating apps are skewed in terms of gender ratios. A lot of these feelings come from self-doubt, lack of confidence and other internal measures of self-worth.
Dating Apps Make Me Feel Ugly — I Am Too Ugly For Hinge, Bumble, Tinder; Too Ugly For Online Dating
If you are basing your looks on dating apps, you are off to a bad start. Seeking validation from others is the wrong way to value yourself. Sure, everyone wants to feel wanted and if you are not getting likes or matches on dating apps, you must be ugly, right? Wrong!
People tend to overestimate the reasons why they don’t do well on dating apps. Yes, looks help to get matches and can offset other self-sabotaging attributes on dating profiles.
If you are looking at dating apps for validation, it could be that you are not ready to date. Being ready to date means that you are happy on your own (or at least making strides) rather than looking for someone to make you happy. People can enhance your life and compliment what you have going on, but they can’t get you out of a funk if you are not able to do things for yourself first.
Related read: Are You Ready To Date
Is Online Dating Only For Good-Looking People? Are Dating Apps Only For Attractive People? Are Dating Apps Hopeless For Ugly Guys?
No, of course not. Browse the social media profiles on dating apps and look at the success stories. Not all women are models, not all men are fit and over 6ft tall. It’s easier to blame apps and people rather than accept responsibility for your own actions.
Everyone can make themselves more attractive. Sure, some things require time, but there are a lot of quick wins people can achieve with a little help and guidance. I am usually the first person people share their photos, profiles and dating history with — if you are not getting unbiased help, you are likely ignoring biases.
Don’t waste months or years being inefficient, using the wrong photos, utilizing bad advice or using the inappropriate apps. People get help in their lives all the time (personal trainers, hair stylists, speech coaches, assistants, nutritionists, career coaches — dating is no different).
I am not 6ft tall, I am not a Caucasian male. I know what it’s like to use dating apps. I am one of the few people who understands algorithms but also understands free choice, timing, nuance, delivery and luck. Similarly, even if you do everything right in a profile, you can fail if you fail to understand how algorithms work or understand preferences/deal-breakers of the people you are swiping on.
In order to make yourself more attractive, you have to look at EVERYTHING from lifestyle choices, hair, wardrobe, posture, facial expressions, photos, hobbies and interests. Even if you do all of this, it has to be conveyed not just in your photos but your bio, prompts, first messages and more.
Too many people focus on the physical attraction and not enough on the other areas as the former is easier to dismiss/blame when lacking than the others (self-sabotage).
Why Is Everyone On Dating Apps Ugly? Unattractive People On Dating Sites? Too Ugly For Dating Apps
Some apps paywall in-demand users i.e. Hinge Standouts. Some will show you profiles based on either you will pay to see or they will show your profile in hopes of luring others to pay for bells & whistles.
Sure, the level of effort to create a profile is less than that of approaching someone at a bar and the pool of users show it but there are quality and attractive people but you will have to work on yourself to see more of them over time.
Ugly Men On Dating Apps, Unattractive Women On Dating Apps (Bumble, Hinge)
Just like you can’t unsee unattractive people when you go out to shop, run errands or go to a restaurant, you can’t unsee ugly men and women on dating apps. Sometimes these people are shown more often because they pay for boosts or apps try to get you to pay to see less of them.
Not Good Lucking Enough For Online Dating Apps, Dating Disappointments
If you don’t think you are good lucking enough for online dating apps, you might be right. Attraction is not just about appearance but also confidence. The more down and jaded you are, the less attractive you will be to others.
Unless you love yourself, are happy on your own, you are likely not ready to date. Don’t depend on others for your self-worth, happiness etc.
Additional Reading — Too Ugly For Love, Too Ugly For Women; Too Ugly For A Relationship (Girlfriend, Boyfriend)
For reasons why you are not getting likes, matches or responses on dating apps, check out more on the post here. Learn how you can work on yourself, from grooming, facial expressions, posture, photos, lifestyle choices, as well as understanding algorithms, messages and more.
For those seeking a critique of their Bumble dating profile or need help navigating the app i.e. ID’ing time wasters, how to be more efficient, how to screen liars and low-effort people, check out my dating services here.
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